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Educate without judging

Sergio García Gutiérrez, specialist in child psychology

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It is usual that when educating we put all our efforts to achieve the best possible version of our children, thinking that this way they will be happy. However, in this endeavor, we forget that it is not our mission to get the best version of them, but to educate them so that they get that version. Because only each one knows what makes him happy, what he wants and what is the best version of himself. We, as educators, do not have the power to decide which is their best version, but we can provide the resources for them to do so. And the worst of all is that, on many occasions, we forget what they feel, we are not aware of how they interpret our attempts to make them the best.

And this is the first mistake, because when educating to achieve the best version of the child, we fall into the habit of judging them. When we do not achieve what, in our view, should be the best version, we get angry, thinking that we did not achieve one of our goals and we judge the child, unloading our frustration on the little one.
Luckily we can correct the error, it is about changing our way of thinking, stop believing we are possessors of reason and owners of our little ones and their destiny. It is true that we are responsible for them, at least and especially during childhood, but we are not their owners. If we understand this, we will understand that our educational work is more magical and more complicated than we thought. Our educational work is not to create an ideal vision of the child and try to achieve it, but to educate so that they achieve their best version, but they are the ones who chart their path.

The change of thought will help us to change our attitude and modify our way of acting with them. The first step, in this process where we give them the tools so that they can develop their maximum possibilities, is to educate without judging the child. It is not about accepting everything they do and allowing them to do whatever they want, far from it. But if to direct our judgment to his actions and not to do his person. By doing this, we protect their self-esteem and offer a suitable image for the formation of self-concept.

Educating the child without judging is the first step, necessary to promote the development of a healthy self-concept and the foundations of a healthy self-esteem, which will be crucial for the child to be able to pursue their best version.
Educating without judging the child will allow us to offer an adjusted image. As I have mentioned before, it is not about allowing him to do whatever he wants or to tell him only the positive. An adequate image is based on a complete knowledge of the qualities (both positive and negative), and an acceptance of them. For all this, it is essential that we offer you a real image, with all its qualities, but that we do not label them, neither as positive nor as negative, but as those that define it, as valid as any. By not labeling them, we are telling you that we accept them and educating you to accept them as they are.
The best version of each one resides in ourselves, in accepting our self completely and loving ourselves as we are.

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